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I am complex to the point that it's fucking ridiculous.
I am constantly changing and evolving.
I am forever seeking to learn something new.
I am a brat.
I am stubborn.
I am protective in ways that borderline insanity.
I am passionate.
I am shy.
I am a reaction junkie.
I am a creature of rules.
I am a chameleon and able to adapt to my surroundings.
I am self conscious.
I am oblivious.

I want to push my limits to the brink.
I want to push your limits to the brink.
I want to break someone. (This is obviously with their consent)
I want to explore.

I need to feel wanted.
I need to make you feel wanted.
I need to feel desired.
I need to make you feel desired.
I need passion.
I need intensity.
I need stability.
I need control.
I need to be controlled.
I need straight foreward.
I need rules and guidelines.
I need patience.
I spent forever trying to remember my password for this journal! GAAHH!!!
k well i have a new journal..if you luv me youll msg me on aim and ask me for the info.
K well, I feel that its time for a new journal..Im tired of reading back at all the crap posts. Ill note my new journal and anyone that even gives a shit can add me
hmm lots of stuff going on in my life right, lets see how things turn out???
Got a flight out of Arkansas at 6 am saturday morning..Im tired of this dumb crap. I need to get a frequent flyer plan, im racking up the miles....
I talked with Jason last night and he told me he doesn't think he ever wants any more kids. He said right now in this moment he knows he doesn't, but thats not to say that in the future he might change his mind. I want kids someday, bottom line. Not right now but in the future so am i just setting myself up for a relationship that will have problems in the long run if i come back here? agh...I dont even know..

Oct. 23rd, 2007

i swear to god she does it just to annoy the piss outta me and make me jealous....ugh...i want to punch her in the face!!!!!
Tonight a really good friend of mine that i practically have known since i was really little told me he thinks he is gay. No offense to people of that orientation but it was really upsetting to me. I never thought i would be kind of upset that a friend would come out of the closet to me. It was kind of an emotional situation and I felt really bad that he was upset with the fact of it too. I started thinking about how/if he would come out to his parents and how they would react. The sad thing in his part is that he is very strong in the church he goes to and i think if the church finds out, they will kick him out. im not sure, they might though and i think that would really make him feel bad. (obviously duh, right?)....Im still kind of in denial thinking...This was my future husband, he fucking cant be gay!!!!!!! T.T agh...why...by no means is being gay a bad thing, i just.....agh i dont know..i dont know what to say or think...I dont know how to explain what im trying to say.

I miss my friends </3

zoovroo (8:19:15 PM): omg, i think i found your $20 bucks you lost here
UnholyFruitloop (8:18:32 PM): hahahaha
UnholyFruitloop (8:18:42 PM): i had a dream about you the other night
zoovroo (8:19:31 PM): lol, jk. We never found that.
UnholyFruitloop (8:18:45 PM): wait..
UnholyFruitloop (8:18:48 PM): anyways
zoovroo (8:19:36 PM): OOO
zoovroo (8:19:42 PM): yeah.
UnholyFruitloop (8:18:55 PM): you were trying to tape my feet again
zoovroo (8:19:47 PM): lol
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:03 PM): i just remember running and crying
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:09 PM): and you were like..IM GOING TO TAPE YOUR FEEETT
zoovroo (8:20:00 PM): your feet are pretty amazing.
zoovroo (8:20:03 PM): AHH
zoovroo (8:20:04 PM): lol
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:19 PM): no theyre not
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:20 PM): theyre ugly
zoovroo (8:20:15 PM): Seriously, no.
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:35 PM): omg thats going in my buddy info
zoovroo (8:20:29 PM): I have a picture of them in my room, and I look at them everyday
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:47 PM): what?
zoovroo (8:20:35 PM): they are deff. not ugly
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:53 PM): you have a pic of my feet?
zoovroo (8:20:41 PM): ......
UnholyFruitloop (8:19:56 PM): lol
zoovroo (8:20:44 PM): .....lmao
zoovroo (8:20:47 PM): haha
zoovroo (8:20:55 PM): THAT wouldnt be creeeppyyy
UnholyFruitloop (8:20:20 PM): that was one of those moment where i was laughing then i stopped and was creeped out a little
zoovroo (8:21:14 PM): hahaha
zoovroo (8:21:20 PM): I live for those moments